I MUST FIND THIS.
MUST MAKE THIS.
everyone imagines pirates as these fearsome romantic figures who were drunk all the time and raped everyone they saw
when in reality they had to be in bed by 8, meddling with women “without their consent” was punishable by instant death on some ships, and if they were drunk during a fight they’d be marooned
- s1: my mom does all the grocery shopping
- s2: "you're not gay" "I could be?"
- s3a: she's kinda hot
- s3b: ANOTHER WEREWOLF?
- s4: i'm worth 5 dollars??
I heard a story about a guy whose plane took off from LA on Christmas Eve, and touched down in Japan the next morning on the 26th. Christmas was eaten by the time differences.
I never noticed this.
Blink-182 being on everyone’s lips.
DO YOU EVER FANTASIZE ABOUT HUGGING SOMEONE FAMOUS
NO SEX THOUGHTS, NO AUTOGRAPHS OR PHOTOS
JUST A BIG, GENUINE HUG THAT LASTS THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF TIME AND COMPLETES YOUR LIFE
I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”
I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS
I encounter this phenomenon at least once a week.
im only 17 and ive already had like 3 mid-life crises
u’ve also won 2 grammys lorde
And I’ve Got to Protect Myself (#315: March 20, 2014)